At 19, consider that I am at the end of my teen life, and achievements have been placed tastefully in a glass shelf for the world to see, I would say I have had certain meaningful experiences. Experiences are lessons learnt, but I have yawned at the face of such instances that have been instrumental in making me what I am today. My journey until now has been more like a bungee jump than a roll coaster ride. It was not a slow and steady seating on a ride seat, but more of a headlong plunge into the unknown.
At 19, I have seen angels turn into devils and back. And this exposure commenced in school itself. I recall myself praising a fellow student and her doing the same about me, just in the most brutally negative way. As a student, there was always a spark shooting between the teacher and me, notorious for being a ‘trendsetter’ as they said. And by trendsetter I don’t mean that I paraded into school adorned in designer wear.
At 19, I don’t believe in long lasting friendships or relationships sort of rubbish. I consider that friends are just enemies in disguise. So, when I thought I was making genuine friends, I realized I was creating for myself an army of traitors, who would one fine morning betray me, all together at the ‘war’ front. At such times, your pillow is your pillar of strength, friend, confidante.
Being quite the adventurous kind, I have given most of my peers and elders, minor heart attacks, so much so that this has now become a profile statement – ‘Beware, can cause minor heart ailments.’ I cannot fathom why I am mistaken by almost everyone as the tough and gutsy gal, while I remember not going to the loo alone almost for a week after watching an Indian version of Exorcist meets Emily Rose, (1920).
Relationships are always tricky; many of them just serve a purpose. I believe except for the bond we share with our parents, chosen by God and not by us, is conditional and subject to end due to changing attitudes. I know that life is what it is because we choose to make it so. I have not regretted the choices I made because, in the past, that is exactly how I wanted things to be.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
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2 comments:
Hatz off to you sir... the flow of your message just took me into a new world..
thanks udit...glad u liked it!
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