That Omar Abdullah decides to quit following ‘allegedly false’ allegations of his involvement in the shocking sex scandal in J&K is understandable. But to contemplate on whether he is a ‘softy’ at heart and fit to rule the turbulent state of J&K is equally incomprehensible. We often forget that politicians and leaders possess a set of feelings too. Feelings when if stretched to an extreme, come back and sting, like a slingshot. But alas! Even Shiney Ahuja knows that being a public figure comes with a price tag. So what keeps Abdullah blissfully ignorant of this?
His emotional move has been called as one meant to uphold his honor and dignity. And why wouldn’t it be called so? Unlike many politicians who choose to remain silent on the face of truckloads of accusations made against them, Omar did something that has seldom been done by any minister. Along with upholding his dignity, he has also set a dangerous precedent to take the moral high ground. One can call it a case of young- blooded surge because the old and sagging are not capable of this. While Omar says he learnt to “expect the unexpected”, one can be sure opposition leader Beig learnt a similar lesson himself. So strong was the young CM’s reaction that the PDP leader had to backtrack on his remarks. Quitting on a mere allegation? Beig clearly didn’t see what hit him.
To think of it another way, it is a win-win situation for Abdullah. Assume he is one of the suspects on the ‘shame list.’ What may be the repercussions? He would be forced to resign his post, a statement that Beig already made in the Assembly. On the contrary, Abdullah decides to quit even before he has been proven guilty. That way, if he is innocent, he will be re-instated on his throne, just as he had left it. To say the least, many have been calling it a move to avoid ‘losing face.’ So true of the young being conscious of protecting their own image rather than thinking in the national interest. Couldn’t he have waited for the CBI to carry out its investigation or test the authenticity of the PDP’s statements? No. Omar evidently seems to have taken a shortcut to being seeded as ‘dignified’ in the political race.
The question is, where does this political chaos leave the state of J&K? Does a sensitive state like this need its share of political bickering? Now even as the opposition party leader Mehbooba Mufti cries foul at the CBI for shielding Omar, no one can deny that the meticulous mudslinging from both sides has put state crisis on the back burner. Why hamper the progress of the state and its governance by resorting to such gutter politics? There is no doubt that Abdullah’s decision was an imprudent one. But would it leave him perturbed about his or his party’s position? Well, whoever said that a quitter never wins will need to re-phrase the time-honored idiom.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Must see, Indians in NYC!
The media is abuzz with Sarkozy “stigmatizing” the Islamic communities in France and Obama urging the ‘post-Obama America’ to stop alienating Islamic communities. While one doubts if France has nothing personal against Islam per say, the Bush-America did everything in its bad book to settle their personal scores. So does America today look beyond 9/11? Kabir Khan’s cinematic genius gives us hope that it almost may.
Though his earlier genius, Kabul Express was given a shrift by critics as being too documentary-ish, New York is definitely high on gloss living up to the Yash Raj banner. The core theme of the movie touches close to another inspiration from 9/11, Khuda Kay Liye, but then again, that’s where massive production budgets, cutting-edge editing and cinematography come in. All these together ensure there isn’t a moment in the film that you will want to miss.
The plot revolves around the lives of three friends whose destinies alter during the same time as the skyline of New York City. Omar (Neil Nitin Mukesh) an Indian immigrant is forcefully detained by FBI officer Roshan (Irrfan Khan) and interrogated for his possible terrorist links. The interrogation forces him to flash back to his days as a student in NYU where he met Sameer aka Sam (John Abraham) the dude of the college. In comes Maya, (Katrina Kaif) a tomboy who he later finds himself falling in love with.
But in a true Bollywood style triangle, Maya fancies Sam. A revelation of this, and the fall of the World Trade Centre, Omar moves out of the lives of Sam and Maya, only to return seven years later, as an undercover FBI agent. Roshan shocks him revealing that one of his friends is a kingpin of a sleeper cell involved in terrorist activities. He agrees to be an undercover agent only to prove his friend’s innocence. Little does he know of the road that lies ahead.
One can’t stop marveling at the director’s sense of vision. The movie explores the reasons people take to terrorism as a form of revenge. Post 9/11 scenario, why now? In fact, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. When the wounds have begun to finally heal, the movie serves as a hope they won’t cut open again. Noticeably, the movie manages to please both, the victor and the vanquished, creating a win-win situation for itself. While on one side it terms America’s scared reaction post 9/11 as being wrong, it also doesn’t distinguish between a ‘good’ rebel and a ‘bad’ rebel.
Striking a superb balance between realism and fun, it is meaningful and entertaining at the same time. John does complete justice to some of the most poignant scenes in the film, of him being illegally detained. Just to watch him being subjected to the despicable atrocities is enough to make you flinch in your seat. Katrina is wonderful finally proving herself, portraying roles other than the ones in ‘non-brainers.’ Neil’s portrayal of an Indian immigrant is effortless and Irrfan is well, Irrfan… doing what he does best. Kudos to Kabir for his attempt to blend entertainment with political sensibility, in a cinematic brilliance! Definitely, something you will not regret having watched.
Though his earlier genius, Kabul Express was given a shrift by critics as being too documentary-ish, New York is definitely high on gloss living up to the Yash Raj banner. The core theme of the movie touches close to another inspiration from 9/11, Khuda Kay Liye, but then again, that’s where massive production budgets, cutting-edge editing and cinematography come in. All these together ensure there isn’t a moment in the film that you will want to miss.
The plot revolves around the lives of three friends whose destinies alter during the same time as the skyline of New York City. Omar (Neil Nitin Mukesh) an Indian immigrant is forcefully detained by FBI officer Roshan (Irrfan Khan) and interrogated for his possible terrorist links. The interrogation forces him to flash back to his days as a student in NYU where he met Sameer aka Sam (John Abraham) the dude of the college. In comes Maya, (Katrina Kaif) a tomboy who he later finds himself falling in love with.
But in a true Bollywood style triangle, Maya fancies Sam. A revelation of this, and the fall of the World Trade Centre, Omar moves out of the lives of Sam and Maya, only to return seven years later, as an undercover FBI agent. Roshan shocks him revealing that one of his friends is a kingpin of a sleeper cell involved in terrorist activities. He agrees to be an undercover agent only to prove his friend’s innocence. Little does he know of the road that lies ahead.
One can’t stop marveling at the director’s sense of vision. The movie explores the reasons people take to terrorism as a form of revenge. Post 9/11 scenario, why now? In fact, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. When the wounds have begun to finally heal, the movie serves as a hope they won’t cut open again. Noticeably, the movie manages to please both, the victor and the vanquished, creating a win-win situation for itself. While on one side it terms America’s scared reaction post 9/11 as being wrong, it also doesn’t distinguish between a ‘good’ rebel and a ‘bad’ rebel.
Striking a superb balance between realism and fun, it is meaningful and entertaining at the same time. John does complete justice to some of the most poignant scenes in the film, of him being illegally detained. Just to watch him being subjected to the despicable atrocities is enough to make you flinch in your seat. Katrina is wonderful finally proving herself, portraying roles other than the ones in ‘non-brainers.’ Neil’s portrayal of an Indian immigrant is effortless and Irrfan is well, Irrfan… doing what he does best. Kudos to Kabir for his attempt to blend entertainment with political sensibility, in a cinematic brilliance! Definitely, something you will not regret having watched.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Towards the end...
At 19, consider that I am at the end of my teen life, and achievements have been placed tastefully in a glass shelf for the world to see, I would say I have had certain meaningful experiences. Experiences are lessons learnt, but I have yawned at the face of such instances that have been instrumental in making me what I am today. My journey until now has been more like a bungee jump than a roll coaster ride. It was not a slow and steady seating on a ride seat, but more of a headlong plunge into the unknown.
At 19, I have seen angels turn into devils and back. And this exposure commenced in school itself. I recall myself praising a fellow student and her doing the same about me, just in the most brutally negative way. As a student, there was always a spark shooting between the teacher and me, notorious for being a ‘trendsetter’ as they said. And by trendsetter I don’t mean that I paraded into school adorned in designer wear.
At 19, I don’t believe in long lasting friendships or relationships sort of rubbish. I consider that friends are just enemies in disguise. So, when I thought I was making genuine friends, I realized I was creating for myself an army of traitors, who would one fine morning betray me, all together at the ‘war’ front. At such times, your pillow is your pillar of strength, friend, confidante.
Being quite the adventurous kind, I have given most of my peers and elders, minor heart attacks, so much so that this has now become a profile statement – ‘Beware, can cause minor heart ailments.’ I cannot fathom why I am mistaken by almost everyone as the tough and gutsy gal, while I remember not going to the loo alone almost for a week after watching an Indian version of Exorcist meets Emily Rose, (1920).
Relationships are always tricky; many of them just serve a purpose. I believe except for the bond we share with our parents, chosen by God and not by us, is conditional and subject to end due to changing attitudes. I know that life is what it is because we choose to make it so. I have not regretted the choices I made because, in the past, that is exactly how I wanted things to be.
At 19, I have seen angels turn into devils and back. And this exposure commenced in school itself. I recall myself praising a fellow student and her doing the same about me, just in the most brutally negative way. As a student, there was always a spark shooting between the teacher and me, notorious for being a ‘trendsetter’ as they said. And by trendsetter I don’t mean that I paraded into school adorned in designer wear.
At 19, I don’t believe in long lasting friendships or relationships sort of rubbish. I consider that friends are just enemies in disguise. So, when I thought I was making genuine friends, I realized I was creating for myself an army of traitors, who would one fine morning betray me, all together at the ‘war’ front. At such times, your pillow is your pillar of strength, friend, confidante.
Being quite the adventurous kind, I have given most of my peers and elders, minor heart attacks, so much so that this has now become a profile statement – ‘Beware, can cause minor heart ailments.’ I cannot fathom why I am mistaken by almost everyone as the tough and gutsy gal, while I remember not going to the loo alone almost for a week after watching an Indian version of Exorcist meets Emily Rose, (1920).
Relationships are always tricky; many of them just serve a purpose. I believe except for the bond we share with our parents, chosen by God and not by us, is conditional and subject to end due to changing attitudes. I know that life is what it is because we choose to make it so. I have not regretted the choices I made because, in the past, that is exactly how I wanted things to be.
Wah! Kya emational atyachar!
Dev D is supposed to be a modern day take on Sarat Chandra Chattopadhayay’s classic Bengali novel Devdas. Anurag Kashyap claimed he did not want the film to look like a modernized version of Devdas (2002) by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. But for all we know, after the disastrous No Smoking, he needed to prove his worth as a director in the Indian Film Industry. And so he did!
The film is an offbeat, which seems like the usual masala but steers clear from the predictable demise of the main protagonist. Ideologically, the movie dives into the terrain of liberated female sexuality, his representation of a woman today. It did manage to create hype and lived up to its expectations. In the film, the three main characters – Dev, Paro and Chanda, are portrayed as strong, resilient; belonging to this generation entangled in the web of love, lust and ego. The characters of Paro, the village girl and Chanda, the innocent girl caught up in the famous MMS scandal of Delhi Public School, were shown to be sexually confident. The desire to ‘do it’ with a virgin female, a sad Indian male trait and the angst that of a women when termed as ‘infidel slut’ formed the undertone that Anurag wanted to illustrate.
In the movie, Dev ditches Paro as he disapproves the way she conducted herself sexually and doubted her sleeping with other men. Ironically, towards the end he realizes maybe he was never in love with Paro and ends up falling in love with Chanda, who since the beginning of the movie, was an innocent girl turned hooker; the object of fascination for many men who came to her doorstep for satiation. Wasted Dev suddenly realized what he was missing out on!
The concept of the movie was a brainchild of Abhay Deol, which was worked upon by Director Anurag Kashyap. As mentioned earlier, Kashyap did not want to make another remake of any nine previous film versions titled Devdas. He stuck to creating a modern take on the 1917 Bengali classic novel by Sarat Chandra Chattopadhayay infusing it in a different cultural aspect. Instead of Bengali, he chose the Punjabi culture.
After the failure of No Smoking, the economic effect were also evident on Dev D. Apparently, UTV had given the film a budget of 4 crores and was not happy when it reached to 8 crores. UTV was sacred that Dev D would meet with a similar fate and hence urged Kashyap to change the plot and the characterization; since all of them had grey shades and they did not expect the film would stir emotions. However, Kashyap remained adamant and refused to bow down to this sort of organizational influence.
He had decided he wanted to make his own version to reflect the novel but through the current generation perspective, which he believed, was more relatable to the masses today. His lead character Dev D was a debauching, hypocritical sensualist, who is self - destructive without knowing so. There was a debate about the progressive era the film was set in and it’s implications to which Kashyap explained the disturbing milieu today was in sync with the way he saw the movie to be, macabre and brutally fascinating.
The character of Dev D reflects the director’s life as a student in Delhi who got involved with doing drugs and alcohol and was confused and depressed. The reference was a personal influence put down in characterization. His references of Paro and Chanda, as being sexually and culturally liberal, is his intrinsic proclivity towards what Indians call ‘sluts’. He even wrote a screenplay called ‘The Girl Who’d Sleep with Anyone’. In the movie, he wanted these characters to be as powerful as Dev was.
The film appealed to the youth to an extent that “emotional atyachaar” is now a popular catch phrase. Many instances in the film were picked up from news headlines as the MMS scandal in Delhi Public School and ‘the drunk, rich kid involved in a car accident’ to see what exactly motivates the youth to do what they do. This cases were reasons that the media created wide spread publicity. The commercial influence aspect came in here, which helped the movie cash in on the box office.
Personally, I could relate to it because of the time it has been set in. Ideologically, the movie portrays a milieu, which is very predominant. Fast food, fast cars, fast cash! Where love is confused with lust and vice versa. Where one doesn’t know what they want. Drifting is the name of the game and people live from one high to another; everyone is looking for the next fix.
The film is an offbeat, which seems like the usual masala but steers clear from the predictable demise of the main protagonist. Ideologically, the movie dives into the terrain of liberated female sexuality, his representation of a woman today. It did manage to create hype and lived up to its expectations. In the film, the three main characters – Dev, Paro and Chanda, are portrayed as strong, resilient; belonging to this generation entangled in the web of love, lust and ego. The characters of Paro, the village girl and Chanda, the innocent girl caught up in the famous MMS scandal of Delhi Public School, were shown to be sexually confident. The desire to ‘do it’ with a virgin female, a sad Indian male trait and the angst that of a women when termed as ‘infidel slut’ formed the undertone that Anurag wanted to illustrate.
In the movie, Dev ditches Paro as he disapproves the way she conducted herself sexually and doubted her sleeping with other men. Ironically, towards the end he realizes maybe he was never in love with Paro and ends up falling in love with Chanda, who since the beginning of the movie, was an innocent girl turned hooker; the object of fascination for many men who came to her doorstep for satiation. Wasted Dev suddenly realized what he was missing out on!
The concept of the movie was a brainchild of Abhay Deol, which was worked upon by Director Anurag Kashyap. As mentioned earlier, Kashyap did not want to make another remake of any nine previous film versions titled Devdas. He stuck to creating a modern take on the 1917 Bengali classic novel by Sarat Chandra Chattopadhayay infusing it in a different cultural aspect. Instead of Bengali, he chose the Punjabi culture.
After the failure of No Smoking, the economic effect were also evident on Dev D. Apparently, UTV had given the film a budget of 4 crores and was not happy when it reached to 8 crores. UTV was sacred that Dev D would meet with a similar fate and hence urged Kashyap to change the plot and the characterization; since all of them had grey shades and they did not expect the film would stir emotions. However, Kashyap remained adamant and refused to bow down to this sort of organizational influence.
He had decided he wanted to make his own version to reflect the novel but through the current generation perspective, which he believed, was more relatable to the masses today. His lead character Dev D was a debauching, hypocritical sensualist, who is self - destructive without knowing so. There was a debate about the progressive era the film was set in and it’s implications to which Kashyap explained the disturbing milieu today was in sync with the way he saw the movie to be, macabre and brutally fascinating.
The character of Dev D reflects the director’s life as a student in Delhi who got involved with doing drugs and alcohol and was confused and depressed. The reference was a personal influence put down in characterization. His references of Paro and Chanda, as being sexually and culturally liberal, is his intrinsic proclivity towards what Indians call ‘sluts’. He even wrote a screenplay called ‘The Girl Who’d Sleep with Anyone’. In the movie, he wanted these characters to be as powerful as Dev was.
The film appealed to the youth to an extent that “emotional atyachaar” is now a popular catch phrase. Many instances in the film were picked up from news headlines as the MMS scandal in Delhi Public School and ‘the drunk, rich kid involved in a car accident’ to see what exactly motivates the youth to do what they do. This cases were reasons that the media created wide spread publicity. The commercial influence aspect came in here, which helped the movie cash in on the box office.
Personally, I could relate to it because of the time it has been set in. Ideologically, the movie portrays a milieu, which is very predominant. Fast food, fast cars, fast cash! Where love is confused with lust and vice versa. Where one doesn’t know what they want. Drifting is the name of the game and people live from one high to another; everyone is looking for the next fix.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Ameraica's 9/11, Mumbai's 26/11... who's next?
People would argue that a terrorist attack on a city like Mumbai isn't something unexpected. But what would really make a mumbaikar chew the cud would be the audacity of the terrorists to get inside high profile places and carryout their modus operandi for more than almost 24 hours. Nothing like this was ever seen before. The entire saga is said to be an experimental strategy, setting the target on Mumbai.
The terrorist are said to have been come from Karachi, Pakistan; where they trained to do what would be remembered by the world till kingdom come. They trained in a camp that taught how to take innocent lives. How to kill whoever comes in their way. How to be inhuman, even to the children who are completely unaware of what the world is. What makes them so ruthless, that they cannot see the damage, that they turn a deaf ear to the screams of people they aimlessly point a gun at?
The open firing at the CST and Cafe Leopold in Colaba is still not as shocking as the ones in high security places like The Taj Hotel, The Oberoi Trident Hotel, The Cama Hospital and The Nariman House. The attackers entered the Taj by open firing on the gaurds outside and the receptionists. They were carrying with them, AK-47 and AK-57 rifles along with satellite phones and a bag full of grenades. How secure are we then, if the forces allowed these armed terrorists to walk around with the amount of ammunition that they had with them?
In contrast, who can we hold responsible for these attacks? The loopholes in the security measures, the failed Intelligence, the Government? Sadly, all. I was waiting for a political party to make a poll-mongering issue out of the tragedy faced by the city, considering the state and the national elections are just around the corner. And no, they chose to use their brains this time around.
I had been following the news since the time it broke out in the media. Post which I wanted to see a media circus happen around the whole situation. But here too, I was disappointed. The media seemed to be more responsible this time, the events being covered efficiently by The TimesNow Network. They withheld information they thought might be useful to the militants in case they had access to the television network even when the satellite and communication wires in the hotels and the Nariman House were cut off by the police. I think this was more important than just letting out "exclusive scoops" at the time of the militant attacks on innocent lives.
The amount of motivation to create havoc was so evident in guerrilla strategies planned by the militants that every move they made was so well executed, i wished the Indian forces were half has prepared. Three top ranking police officers including 16 others gave their lives for the safety of the common man. Some of the police men weren't even wearing bullet proof jackets! The men who face the dangerous suicide terrorists, aren't even paid well for the kind of job they do. The Government couldn't even provide them with fighting infrastructure? This is what the government pays them: peanuts.
It is very disheartening to see the state of affairs in the city. More so, I was disturbed by what ever happened on a personal level because, me and my friends were right there, just an hour ago it all began. We were all there and we never anticipated something of this magnitude, and an hour after that, there were frantic calls being exchanged inquiring about families and near and dear ones. Some of whom I still have not heard about.
During all this fracas, one thought that struck my mind was, why didn't Raj Thackrey send his "Marathi manus" and threaten to drive away the armed militants just as they do to the Biharis or better known as Uttar Bhartiya? That would have earned him some respect.
In the end, it wouldn't matter how ready we are, or how constructive and fool-proof our security measures are, what every Mumbaikar needs to imbibe in himself is mental preparedness and the will to comprehend that, in today's times, everyday is a day of thank yous and the uncertainty of returning home.
Friday, June 6, 2008
People enter our lives for a reason!
I strongly believe in the title of my post and as I am experiencing life, I've begun to believe it more than ever before. Can there be another explanation possible? Maybe we say this to make ourselves sound rational at the loss of an integral part of life but this also makes us ponder that, if something is meant to be yours, it will never go away from you. Or maybe it'll go away and then come back to you. Or maybe it'll keep coming back to you. Who knows what the future holds!
And that's precisely why life continues to intrigue me at every phase. How many times do we have a feeling that comes gushing to our heart, that tells us, 'Yes... this is meant to be...', 'this will work out fine...', 'yes... I am glad this happened...' or 'oh! this will not work!' And how many times have all these feelings fallen flat on their faces? That is what life does, it plays along with us, makes us happy and then suddenly comes the blow, out of no where, and we think, 'what went wrong?' And we ask this to ourselves not once not twice but possibly as long as it takes us to figure out what exactly went wrong.
But in the middle of all this fracas, people coming in and going out of my life, there came some, who today I feel are meant to stay. I can never be sure of that, but then again, as much as I hate to say it, this is life. They are those people who I never expected to stand up for me. There was a time when I did not need anyone or anything. There was a time when I was very happy with what I had or the little that I got from life. While something significant kept me rooted to this belief, i kept discarding many people for the happiness of the ones with me. Even a tree that sheds it's leaves in fall, knowing that soon there will be new ones accompanying it in spring, must have felt more than I ever could.
And suddenly today, I feel I have been nothing but mean to all those who tried to be there for me even when I didn't need them. I would say I am glad I realized this now, but I also know that now it's too late. Too late to go down that road, too late to re-live those moments and too late to get back. How hard was it, when we were kids, to say that one is sorry or to simply smile and say, let's be friends again? How hard is it now, to look someone in the eye and tell them that they're not needed and to suppress all those feelings and for what? To satiate the needs of ones ego? To make one feel that they have not lost face? To show the world how ones ego triumphed over the others? Swallowing ones pride is extremely difficult, it never tastes good either.
Moreover, there are people who make this journey called 'life' less harder than it is. In a world where one may not even trust ones family to be with them throughout, we make friends. Friends. Not as easy as the word sounds. And if they were not there for me, I would have felt differently about the whole concept of friendship. Friends are there when you want to have fun, when you want to feel silly, when you feel 'BLAH' [yes I am referring to you dear ;-)]. But being there when you never expected them to be, is sometimes a new experience all together. I never felt that kind of bond with anyone until now. Perhaps I was unsure to trust anyone around me. Too afraid to take someones hand and hold on to it. I feared being in that place where I had been before. I feared letting myself go. And now fresh thoughts enter my mind erasing the old ones like the first rains washing away the traces of dust particles from a leaf. And this is also how new people came in my life, pushing the older ones out.
I never really thanked God that much, but today I want to say Thank You God. Because of You, I realized so many things, I learnt to learn, to forgive, but never forget. One can never forget. Thank you, to those, whose chose to stick with me, and also to those who came for a reason. And leaving, just as swiftly as they came just like wind. Testing times have shown me why people come into our lives. For what reason. And when the God wills them to go, no matter what one may do or say, there's no stopping them. And finally, when they are gone, one learns again to be content with the few people one has in their lives. Finally realizing the mistakes made, and the time lost, the tears dried up. And hoping, with all ones heart that, Time, the biggest healer, will take everything away. And there will again be a new beginning, a new day.
I also want to thank those who are no longer in my life. Not because I want them to be or out of relief that they are not, but for teaching me the lessons... The lessons taught by each one will not be forgotten. One lesson that I have learnt very well is that, one needs to be weary of people who say that they will be by your side, no matter what. Sometimes they may be the ones who turn their back on you when you need them the most. Thank You, for teaching me that life goes on, no matter what. And after the lessons are over, leaving the space you occupied, empty, for the one who really deserves it.
Thank You All.
And that's precisely why life continues to intrigue me at every phase. How many times do we have a feeling that comes gushing to our heart, that tells us, 'Yes... this is meant to be...', 'this will work out fine...', 'yes... I am glad this happened...' or 'oh! this will not work!' And how many times have all these feelings fallen flat on their faces? That is what life does, it plays along with us, makes us happy and then suddenly comes the blow, out of no where, and we think, 'what went wrong?' And we ask this to ourselves not once not twice but possibly as long as it takes us to figure out what exactly went wrong.
But in the middle of all this fracas, people coming in and going out of my life, there came some, who today I feel are meant to stay. I can never be sure of that, but then again, as much as I hate to say it, this is life. They are those people who I never expected to stand up for me. There was a time when I did not need anyone or anything. There was a time when I was very happy with what I had or the little that I got from life. While something significant kept me rooted to this belief, i kept discarding many people for the happiness of the ones with me. Even a tree that sheds it's leaves in fall, knowing that soon there will be new ones accompanying it in spring, must have felt more than I ever could.
And suddenly today, I feel I have been nothing but mean to all those who tried to be there for me even when I didn't need them. I would say I am glad I realized this now, but I also know that now it's too late. Too late to go down that road, too late to re-live those moments and too late to get back. How hard was it, when we were kids, to say that one is sorry or to simply smile and say, let's be friends again? How hard is it now, to look someone in the eye and tell them that they're not needed and to suppress all those feelings and for what? To satiate the needs of ones ego? To make one feel that they have not lost face? To show the world how ones ego triumphed over the others? Swallowing ones pride is extremely difficult, it never tastes good either.
Moreover, there are people who make this journey called 'life' less harder than it is. In a world where one may not even trust ones family to be with them throughout, we make friends. Friends. Not as easy as the word sounds. And if they were not there for me, I would have felt differently about the whole concept of friendship. Friends are there when you want to have fun, when you want to feel silly, when you feel 'BLAH' [yes I am referring to you dear ;-)]. But being there when you never expected them to be, is sometimes a new experience all together. I never felt that kind of bond with anyone until now. Perhaps I was unsure to trust anyone around me. Too afraid to take someones hand and hold on to it. I feared being in that place where I had been before. I feared letting myself go. And now fresh thoughts enter my mind erasing the old ones like the first rains washing away the traces of dust particles from a leaf. And this is also how new people came in my life, pushing the older ones out.
I never really thanked God that much, but today I want to say Thank You God. Because of You, I realized so many things, I learnt to learn, to forgive, but never forget. One can never forget. Thank you, to those, whose chose to stick with me, and also to those who came for a reason. And leaving, just as swiftly as they came just like wind. Testing times have shown me why people come into our lives. For what reason. And when the God wills them to go, no matter what one may do or say, there's no stopping them. And finally, when they are gone, one learns again to be content with the few people one has in their lives. Finally realizing the mistakes made, and the time lost, the tears dried up. And hoping, with all ones heart that, Time, the biggest healer, will take everything away. And there will again be a new beginning, a new day.
I also want to thank those who are no longer in my life. Not because I want them to be or out of relief that they are not, but for teaching me the lessons... The lessons taught by each one will not be forgotten. One lesson that I have learnt very well is that, one needs to be weary of people who say that they will be by your side, no matter what. Sometimes they may be the ones who turn their back on you when you need them the most. Thank You, for teaching me that life goes on, no matter what. And after the lessons are over, leaving the space you occupied, empty, for the one who really deserves it.
Thank You All.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Inarticulate... Words.
There are so many things the heart would want to say, but how do the feelings make way for words? Words are hard to come by, there are times when one needs more than just mere words to convey deep and unfathomable sentiments. We feel people who are close to our heart are the ones who will understand easily what the mind wants to say. But yet we stand corrected. Life is indeed a mystery.
We look for our near and dear ones in troubled times, but often realize that out of the so called dear ones, few even understand the unknown, that which cannot be expressed in words. It's surprising how something we didn't utter or something we didn't say, flies across from us to someone we didn't know would understand. And we feel subdued and amazed at the people who betray us in the middle of adversity. Who understand, but pretend not to. And then we find out that there are others, preying on our sentiments. These are masked, and many too. Sometimes they are good, sometimes, just plain evil. And suddenly they stab us, right in the back, and one feels, how unfair is life, how wrong are the people or perhaps the only things that are wrong are our choices.
And yet one cannot articulate what one feels in words. Words - they have the power to influence the world. Words, they are so powerful that they and can possess the healing aura. The whole world seems to melt away when someone says something the soul longs to hear. A famous and romantic song goes, "It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away..." They are the also the ones that break your heart into pieces, pieces that you cannot find. And if ever found, they will never bind. Wise men always say, one thoughtless word ruins everything and does damage that is irreversible.
And then one day we find that words seem to fail us. And then the mind screams. Screams so loud, the highest octave, that only the heart can hear it, but the world outside is calm, serene and undisturbed. When the mind, in it's absolute frustration yells, wants to be heard, but is silenced by the desire to remain sane... It looks for words that may help articulate the pain, the struggle, the imagery from the dreams that have haunted our sleep the previous night. And tears come streaming down the face, when one loses someone or something which cannot be replaced. These tears also try to communicated, as a last resort, in the place of the words...that... have failed us forever.
We look for our near and dear ones in troubled times, but often realize that out of the so called dear ones, few even understand the unknown, that which cannot be expressed in words. It's surprising how something we didn't utter or something we didn't say, flies across from us to someone we didn't know would understand. And we feel subdued and amazed at the people who betray us in the middle of adversity. Who understand, but pretend not to. And then we find out that there are others, preying on our sentiments. These are masked, and many too. Sometimes they are good, sometimes, just plain evil. And suddenly they stab us, right in the back, and one feels, how unfair is life, how wrong are the people or perhaps the only things that are wrong are our choices.
And yet one cannot articulate what one feels in words. Words - they have the power to influence the world. Words, they are so powerful that they and can possess the healing aura. The whole world seems to melt away when someone says something the soul longs to hear. A famous and romantic song goes, "It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away..." They are the also the ones that break your heart into pieces, pieces that you cannot find. And if ever found, they will never bind. Wise men always say, one thoughtless word ruins everything and does damage that is irreversible.
And then one day we find that words seem to fail us. And then the mind screams. Screams so loud, the highest octave, that only the heart can hear it, but the world outside is calm, serene and undisturbed. When the mind, in it's absolute frustration yells, wants to be heard, but is silenced by the desire to remain sane... It looks for words that may help articulate the pain, the struggle, the imagery from the dreams that have haunted our sleep the previous night. And tears come streaming down the face, when one loses someone or something which cannot be replaced. These tears also try to communicated, as a last resort, in the place of the words...that... have failed us forever.
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